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Aren’t I Too Old to Have My Mouth Washed Out with Soap?

Today, I was driving through town and talking to my mother on my cell phone. She recently gave me a headset, so I’ve been using it for in-the-car-driving.

Then, out of nowhere, a guy runs into the street, right in front of me! I immediately slammed on my brakes. He saw me, but it was too late. I hit him.

Because I was going the speed limit, it wasn’t a hard hit. He actually just looked at me, mouthed “I’m sorry,” waved his hand, and ran into the Bellevue Cigarette Outlet.

I couldn’t even believe it. I mean, thank God he was okay, but how dare he run into the middle of the street without looking first? What kind of idiot does that?

But there’s something else that happened when I hit him.

I swore while I was on the phone with my mother.

I said “shit.” I think I might have also said “hell,” but I can’t remember. My mom responded with, “What the heck is wrong?!?” I yelled back, “I just hit someone!”

She then said, “Well, I’m going to let you go because you’re talking trash.”

I couldn’t believe she said that to me, but given that I just hit someone with my car, I had more important things on my mind. I hung up the phone and pulled over to regain my composure.

When I got home, I received a text from her. This is what it said:

“I know you were upset and all, but you cursed. I can’t believe it. That’s the first time I ever heard you say a curse word. I don’t know what to say.”

It’s always a horrible feeling to know you’ve upset your mom or dad. But honestly, I’m not sure I should feel so guilty. As a child, I never caused my parents any trouble. I always got straight A’s, hung out with my friends, abstained from drugs and sex, and earned a college degree. I have become a remarkable twenty-three year old woman who works hard for her money and volunteers her free time for others. Given my clean record, I think I deserve the right to say a curse word in the midst of a minor automobile accident.

I’m just hoping that my mom will realize soon that I am now an adult. There’s really no need to freak out each time I say or do something she doesn’t agree with. It’s silly to think that something so small could upset her so much. But I’m sure hearing your kid say “shit” for the first time can be pretty shocking. I’ll keep this experience in mind when I have children.

When it comes, I want to wail: MAIL!

When I walked into my kitchen today, I quickly noticed a huge pile of mail on the counter. I looked up to the top of the refrigerator and saw another pile of mail that I had tried to hide earlier in the week.

“Where is all this mail coming from?” I thought, annoyed.

Living with my parents, I never had to pay much attention to the mail; typically my mother would sort it all and deliver it to its rightful owner. I vaguely remember her looking through advertisements and eventually throwing the useless things away. But it never sunk in how quickly junk mail can pile up in just a matter of weeks.

Then I moved out and the junk started getting addressed to me.

But unless I’m expecting something in the mail, I really have no reason to pay close attention to the mail. Other than my Netflix movies, nothing important ever really comes. This is 2008. People don’t send letters…we send texts. We pay our bills online…we don’t write and mail checks.

So now, instead of hiding the mail on the top of the refrigerator, I’ve started hiding it in a bag in the closet. It will stay there until I can figure out some sort of filing system for it all. I’d hate to throw away a coupon that could really save me some money in the future. Any suggestions?